belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
