my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
