Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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