We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
