Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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