this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
