did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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