At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
