Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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