Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
