I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
