his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
