i need an iv and a liver transplant
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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