I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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