do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
