he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
