Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
