I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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