a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
