if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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