I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
