Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
