wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
