Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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