yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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