stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
