i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
