we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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