Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
