Apparently you can coat check a keg.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize