the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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