We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
