protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I am mentally ready for anal.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
