i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
