I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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