the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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