is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I lost the right to judge tonight
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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