Who wears a wallet chain?!
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My penis needs a shock collar
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
