Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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