If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
