So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
