you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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