He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
