Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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