If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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