I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
