Church boner. Awkwardddd
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
