She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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