Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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