i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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