OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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