I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Congratulations! We have a period
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