My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
