a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
