Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
