she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
