Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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