There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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