I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
